Devils and Ninjas
by The Jar Head
Summary: DMCNaruto Crosover: Demons from another world start popping up in the Land of Fire, who are after the Kyuubi Kitsune within Naruto. Soon then blonde will be forced to fight for his survival, then what happens when Akatsuki find out, will they help him?
1. Prologue

**On a cold musty night, rain showered relentlessly upon the land of fire, lightning bolts soared over the horizons striking down the mightiest of the trees with ease, the earth became puddles, the puddles became streams, streams became rivers, the rivers became great lakes, and the lakes became raging ocean currents flooding the landscape with it's crystal blue fury. This posidal rainstorm had arrived hours ago, as ferocious then as it is now. The howling winds travelling at break neck speeds, ripped houses, trees, temples, anything out of the ground like they were thumb tacks on a corkboard, this land certainly had its better days, it even had its off days, but this was just bedlum. No soul should have had to be facing this attack, not even the lowest of the low deserved this punishment. Unfortunately, for three people in particular, this was not the case.**

**High upon a mountain top barring next to a wind swept moore, were three barely distinguishable figures: one was stood up, one kneeling on a collapsed leg, and one lay flat on it's face. With the night as black as death and fog smoking out his vision, thing were pretty damn hard to see. And with the rain bouncing off the earth, along with deafening thunder, thing were pretty damn hard to hear. There wasn't much that could have been done for the situation, he couldn't see, couldn't hear, smell was pointless, as was taste, and sensing was out of the question, why you ask? This man whom attacked the boy and his sensei had discovered some way to mask his chakra, either that or they were attacked by a friggin' squirrel. In the midst of this hopeless situation, the boy hoped that the lightning bolts were frequent, with them being his only source of light; he depended on the skies to aid him in this struggle. The boy, struggling against his own agony, stood up precariously bent on his good leg, the other rendered useless by this mystery ninja, and his sensei, he hadn't heard a word from him in ten minuets, his chakra could not be sensed, the boy now standing up swallowed on his own saliva, had his sensei already passed away? Was it too late, for both of them?**

**A light hearted, slightly sarcastic laugh could be heard, barley a few feet away, it sickened the boy just thinking about someone enjoying this, with fear the dominant emotion within his body, even if he wanted to, his broken leg stopped him from moving straight, never mind wandering around aimlessly in the darkness searching for an old man, while there's a bloodthirsty psycho standing a few feet away from himself, and just who the hell was this man or beast or demon or whatever the hell it was, and where did it come from?**

"**Ridiculous" Voiced by a cold, unimpressed male. The battle in which he just laid waste to two seemingly unstoppable forces, ended about as swiftly as it began. This man possessed such incredible skill, that he seemed barley human, a machine fitted him much better, a war machine with no remorse, and unstoppable power. "That's all you've got? Absolutely ridiculous, surely I must have stirred your power by now? C'mon, where's your motivation, where's your drive, where's your ambition, why are you here, why do you refuse to show me your power?" The figure stood tall, continuing to keep a cool, calm, confined state, a slight hinder of annoyance could be detected in his voice but at the moment, that was the last thing on the victims mind. As the flashes of lightning gave small instances of light; they revealed the scene to his eyes, he found his sensei.**

**Lying down in a pool of his own blood was the legendary toad sage Jiraiya, the student now collapsed again onto his rear end, completely sapped of all the energy he needed to stand. The man lying on the ground began to make, slowly and uneasy movements, with a voice muffled and distorted through the echoing rain.**

"**N-Naruto! G-go run. Wh-what e-e-ever this m-man wan-wants, it's wi-with you, ARRGGG! G-go ru-run, NOW!" Jiraiya screaming in pain, begged his student to leave, to get as far away from here as he possibly could. However a certain student was having none of this.**

"**No way!" He said arrogantly, using an enormous amount of strength to stand up on his good leg, Naruto continued, "There's no way I'm backing down from a fight Jiraiya, not in the past, not now, not ever, not even a fight that I can't win. I'm staying right here, and I'm fighting this guy. I WONT BACK DOWN" Naruto bellowed back at both his sensei and his attacker. Jiraiya fell into an unconscious state from the blood loss, and the attacker at this moment shook his head, seeing the problem and the solution at the same time.**

"**It appears the old man, has restored some confidence within you, Naruto. Perhaps I could use this to my advantage" After this cool and calm remark, footstep could be heard through the night walking further away from Naruto, then a sword being unsheathed could be heard through the pounding rain, only just thought. But this was all Naruto needed, his eyes went wide, this was about to go from bad to a whole lot worse. A flash of lightning struck the forest below, setting fire to many of the trees there, illuminating the scene. Man in his twenties standing tall with a katana styled sword, robed in a blue leather trench coat, black pants, and knee high brown boots along with a ribbed flannel shirt underneath the trench coat, mere seconds away from ramming the sword into the unprotected back of his sensei, the legendary toad sage Jiraiya.**

**Out of instinct, Naruto sprung to his feet, allowing, once again, the nine tailed fox to take over his body, rushing at alarming speed towards the men, reddish orange chakra surrounded Naruto's body giving the illusion of the boy having fox ears and a long bushy tail. Naruto however, even with this formidable speed was too late to stop it, within the laps of a second the attacker had driven his sword into the left kidney of Jiraiya, spun around, grabbed a hold of Naruto's fist, sent the demon boy flying with a ferocious kick to the mid section, took a hold of his own sword again and sheathed it back into it's scabbard. He then smiled.**

"**I knew there was some way to bring forth this demon within you" The assailant began to walk closer towards Naruto, totally unfazed by Jiraiya's inhumane screaming, the rain still hammered down upon them, having a half decent chance of putting out the fire which manifested into a raging inferno upon the forest below. Naruto wished that this rain would end, and then at least he didn't have to worry about the scene going black on him again. Naruto saw this moment as do or die, he would summon up all of the demons chakra and unload it into a single Rasengan. With the attacker drawing ever closer in his casually paced walk, Naruto outstretched his right arm to gather his chakra, with two seconds a steaming ball of orange chakra with the shape the size of a basketball had formed on his right palm, Naruto ran full speed ahead at the blue robed assailant, declaring his jutsu with a inhumane roar on contact with the attackers heart.**

"**RASENGAN" Bellowed the Kyuubi Kitsune in an echoing roar, staring angrily into the stone-faced expression of the attacker at contact. With the enormous discharge of energy; light beams of reddish orange neon chakra shot off into all directions, illuminating the scene better than any lightning bolt, a thundering boom echoed into the rolling hills drowning out the sound of heavy rainfall for just a few moments, Jiraiya's motionless frame was carelessly tossed aside with the forceful waves of discharging chakra. And now Naruto officially out of all kinds of chakra reserves, collapsed onto his knees, the flaming red aura that was once around his body had diffused itself into nothingness, the blonde totally exhausted, barely found the strength to look up to hopefully find a smoking char grilled corpse around the edges of the cliff face.**

**Bloody hell was he wrong.**

**To his most extreme horror, he spotted the blue robed mystery man kneeling down a good three foot away from himself, with a single hole in his undershirt where there should have been a smoking basketball sized hole in his body, barely even bloodshed on his body, and a face with murderous intent slapped all over it. Standing up into a fully upright position the assailant began staring a hole through Naruto's face, this guy was pissed now! Not loosing his focus on the Kyuubi carrier, the assailant spoke again.**

"**Interesting. Not entirely powerful, but interesting. Now that was what I wanted you to show me. It appears that you cannot maintain that sudden influx in power for long, just like me. We'll have to work on that, it also seems as if you gain that power whenever in a situation where another's life is at stake, very interesting. I also noticed that for a brief period you were not affected by your inability to obtain any movement from your right leg. The ability to override pain, and to move with broken vital bones, is something even I do not posses." He swiftly explained to Naruto like this was some sort of academy lesson, "You see, I am new to this land and indeed it's ways and customs, I have heard so many things about this energy called chakra and these combat styles known as jutsu's, that can do anything from summoning gales, to reviving the dead, very powerful indeed. I also found while researching chakra that in this land there used to be a demon called the Kyuubi Kitsune, it possessed a limitless supply of chakra, and with that chakra I can perform these powerful jutsu's, another astonishing fact that I discovered is that, the Kyuubi Kitsune is within you, Naruto Uzumaki." Naruto, way too exhausted to do anything at the moment was still amazed that his Rasengan had little effect in this guy.**

"**_The least anyone has ever moved was about four meters, this guy barely moved two foot, who is this guy? Where did he come from? What's he going to do to me? Where the hell is Jiraiya?" _The Blonde thought almost giving up on the situation, he could not perform ninjutsu because he had no chakra left, he hadn't been able to create a decent genjutsu ever since he started at the ninja academy a good five or so years, kinjutsu was a tempting offer though, Jiraiya had taught him some forbidden jutsu's along the road but again they needed chakra, the only option was taijutsu, and this guy was faster than a lightning bolt, a lot of good martial arts'll do right now. He looked up at the assailant who had used some sort of energy to summon a glowing blue neon sword/dagger, it couldn't have been chakra because even from the start Naruto hadn't been able to sense this guys chakra, that was how he managed to sneak up on he and Jiraiya in the first place, the man took the dagger in his left palm seeing that that deadly katana was firmly gripped in his right hand, and drew ever closer to Naruto's neck cutting it ever so slightly with the blade.**

"**My next question is, how do I get that demon out?" Again the blue robed attacker kept a calm, confined persona about him, with a slight malicious tone in his voice he again ever so slightly cut at Naruto's throat when Jiraiya burst back into action, only to once again have himself immobilized by the imfabnible speed of the assailant. Jiraiya tried to tackle the blue robed swords master, in which the mystery man retaliated by letting go of the dagger, tying his katana to his sash using a yellow kurigata and sage-o, met Jiraiya's incoming charge and matched the strength effortlessly, delivered a series of kicks to the blood soaked Jiraiya sending them both skywards and finished it with a swift moonsault kick to the head. And then as both men were plummeting towards the earth, the attacker gained enough speed to reach the mountain top before is victim, grab him by the ankle, flip him over precariously, summon another sword and held in into the barley standing Jiraiya, took a hold of his other neon sword which was somehow floating in midair around Naruto neck, and all this was done in barely two seconds.**

"**_Yeah, a lot of good martial arts'll do right now" _Naruto joked to himself; at least he still had a sense of humour. Both he and the assailant smirked slightly but Naruto's smiled fell flat and his eyes widened when the assailant's neon blue dagger wakizashi swords diffused in thin air and broke in shatters.**

"**But as for today, I've collected enough research on the matter, I know enough to continue now. I'll be seeing you around, Naruto Uzumaki" With this final coolly placed statement, the attacker vanished into thin air with some kind of visual distortion, no cloud of smoke just vanished. The two pathetic forms of two seriously injured ninja, made slight relieved expressions that the mystery attacker had left them be, but those expressions were soon taken off their faces through the help of mind numbing pain and thoughts on how they were to get out of this mess.**

"**Jiraiya, how are we sup-supposed to g-get back to Konoha?" Naruto asked his sensei barring any perverted comments out of this conversation, this was definitely not the time or place. "And who the h-hell was th-that?" Finished Naruto before collapsing onto the blood soaked, water drenched mountaintop in exhaustion.**

"**I d-don't kn-know Naru-uto, I-I just do-n't know" Wailed Jiraiya hardly in a position to give his patented long-winded explanations of situations, now wasn't the time or place. He had sustained too much damage to his organs, hell too much damage to his person. "Something'll c-come up, it j-just has t-to" and with that Jiraiya too collapsed onto the earth covering half of Naruto's body with his own as if he was still trying to protect his young charge. Something would have to had come up very soon indeed, soon hypothermia would most likely set itself in the two motionless bodies from this god damned rain, ontop of a mountain side among countless rolling hills covered in thick, musty fog, next to a wind swept moore of ferocious gait, lay to motionless frames of two critically injured males, and in the black dead of night, what chances could they have possible had of being found on a night like tonight.**

**The pair lay there, not knowing if they were dead or not, not knowing whom their attacker was, not knowing if anyone would come. Just simply not knowing.**


	2. My name is

**(A/N: This be my first 'Naruto-Devil May Cry' crossover, and I might as well give my reasons: 1, Naruto is my favourite anime of all time. 2, Devil May Cry is my favourite video game series of all time… barring Sonic The Hedgehog. And C, I have come up with some very good plotlines and ties that can bring the two worlds together. It will be set in the Naruto world so that is why it is listed in the Naruto files and not the Devil May Cry files.)**

**(A/N: I also do not have absolute knowledge of the Naruto anime or the Devil May Cry video game series, so if you the reader find anything typed in this fic, that is proven wrong later in the games or anime then please bring it to my attention so as I do not keep making the same mistakes. Thank you, and if there are loads of misconceptions please try to go along with them as best you can without screaming at your computer/laptop screen in sheer unbridled anger, we can't all be unstable psychotics with anger management issues, can we?)**

**(A/N: Also this fic is set when all the rookies will be sixteen! And yes that does mean that Orochimaru will be very damn close to taking over Sasuke's body!)**

**(A/N: I do not own Naruto, Devil May Cry or anything else you read in this fic that is in fact owned by someone else.)**

**---REVIEW REPLY---**

**Ranma Uzumaki:** Thanks for reviewing, and hopefully I will!

**Angel of Chaos: **Well shit, someone figured it out already! Okay now I'm certain that my description of Vergil was waaaay too specific. I wanted it to be some sort of guessing game, but to hell with it! Thanks for reviewing!

**Devils and Ninjas**

**Chapter 1: My name is…**

It was two hours prior/post the incident on the mountain before the 5th Hokage, Tsunade Hime, decided to organize a search party for Naruto and Jiraiya. She had let them go, believing that the pair was going to train Naruto's chakra control by climbing up mount Ishiyama at a walking pace with no hands, in short, no momentum allowed. She remembered when her sensei, Sarutobi taught Jiraiya, Orochimaru and herself the exact same thing, and she knew how incredibly difficult it was. But, it has never drained anyone of their entire chakra supply, and Tsunade became suspicious the very second she stopped sensing both their chakra levels. And at 01:36 am, both Naruto and Jiraiya were escorted into Konoha by a task force of elite Jonin medical ninja.

"_Trust me" _Jiraiya had said to Tsunade before she allowed them to leave, _"Nothing'll go wrong. Naruto has excelled brilliantly in the three years you've known him. So for once in your life, will you just trust me on this one, eh you ol' hag?"_ Tsunade let forth an exasperated laugh, while skimming through a medical records book, the very man whom said that to her, was the very man she had to perform life threatening surgery on, in just a few moments.

Slamming the book shut, the Hokage stood and proceeded to walk out of her office. _"Trust me"_, she had to trust him, after what he said, even though they had been squad mates for a helluva long time, the toad perv never once stopped tried to stop peeping on her, and after thirty or so loooong years, it really got annoying, how do you trust a complete ero? But then again, she did get to know a lot about Jiraiya in those thirty or so years, call it female intuition then, she just trusted him, never again will she do the same. Tsunade, walking along a hallway admiring her cheery red toenail polish looked up at the sound of footsteps ahead of her, the footsteps belonged to Shizune.

"Tsunade, Naruto has had successful surgery and has regained consciousness, he is resting in ward four. Jiraiya's condition though requires immedi-

Tsunade drowned out the sound of Shizune's voice and went into deep thought. It was surprising that Naruto needed surgery, usually the Kyuubi healed all of Naruto's wounds in no time at all, but for the time when Naruto was under observation before his surgery, non of the medics noticed any sort of activation of the fox, he really did use up all of the Kyuubi Kitsune's chakra and that thing is supposed to have an unlimited supply of the stuff. Whatever attacked him and Jiraiya sure was something else, and it possessed a threat to everyone's safety if a Sannin and an immortal being couldn't take it out. And even after using all of their chakra, the pair still ended up half dead on a mountain range. Which purposed another question: surely something that powerful had to of had an incredible chakra level, but Tsunade could not sense another presence around Naruto or Jiraiya while they were _'training'._

Just what the hell was going on?

Tsunade came around, ending her train of thought to find herself outside operating theatre A, labelled top priority with Shizune still rambling on about Jiraiya's condition and what could be performed during surgery, Tsunade sighed putting one hand on the left flapping double door.

"_Did anyone bother to tell this girl that I'm recognised as, THE medical specialist?" _The Hokage shook her head, smiling slightly. "Thank you Shizune, now please if you're not down to perform in this theatre, you need to leave. If you have nothing to do then I have 'some' paperwork on my desk that you could help me by completing some of it, and in the morning you'll need to find a gentle way of informing Naruto's squad about his condition, but then again you said he has recovered quite well, so I guess you just need to inform his squad where he is resting and escort them there in the morning. Also if Tonton's awake, feed her." Shizune nodded

"Yes Tsunade" Shizune turned around and pulled a face _"Ha, 'some' paperwork. Did anyone tell bother to tell Tsunade that Hokage's NEVER get 'some' paperwork? Nice try Hime I'm off to bed" _And Shizune began to make her way out of the hospital.

"Oh, and Shizune. Thank you for operating on Naruto while I read up on Jiraiya's case, you may have very well saved the boys life" Voiced by the Hokage, Shizune still carried on walking away. Tsunade sighed once again before slamming the doors to operating theatre A wide open, crossed the threshold and let said doors close behind her.

* * *

In ward 4 roughly eight hours later, a blonde kid with whisker birthmarks on his cheeks of about sixteen years of age, this male of course being the infamous, number one hyperactive knucklehead ninja of the hidden leaf, Naruto Uzumaki woke up in his hospital bed encased in casts and bandages. He hadn't bothered to stay awake earlier this morning when the nurses, of which Naruto enjoyed to the fullest extent, carried the Kyuubi carrier to his bed in the and was told to rest immediately or they'll be trouble. Although Naruto liked the idea of two incredibly hot nurses informing him about the 'trouble' he could get himself in, he dared not argue and fell asleep almost instantly. Before he completely lost consciousness, he heard both of the hot nurses giggling enthusiastically and that set the blonde for the night.

Although in the present time, Naruto was in a slight setback of pain as he winced when a sudden burning sensation appeared in his chest, the anaesthetic was apparently wearing off. He let his eyes adjust to the daylight beaming in through the windows and soon noticed that in face his whole damn body was covered in bandages and that his knee in particular had a metal brace around it, he fell slump into his bed.

"_Great, so that means that their not expecting me to be walking for a while" _He thought while looking to his left and taking note of a empty wheelchair and crutches propped up against it.

He was barely conscious when he was rushed into theatre, but he could hear Shizune's voice bellowing orders about some operation, Naruto assumed it was his she was on about, and the other surgeons asking each other why the fox demon hadn't healed it's container, Naruto of course, knew this reason. It was because he completely annihilated the Kyuubi's chakra in that pointless Rasengan on that guy in the blue trench coat and silver hair.

"_Kakashi sensei had said that he was an only child, so it couldn't have been his brother or nothin', arrgg who was that guy?" _Naruto began racking his brain searching for faces that matched the mystery ninja, but then again. Why was Naruto asking himself, he doesn't fucking know, so what's the point. A 2nd stabbing, sharp pain hit his chest; yeah the anaesthetic was definitely wearing off. _"Damn, where are those hot nurses when you need them?" _Naruto asked himself while trying his best to clutch his chest with his right hand. _"I wonder how Jiraiya sensei's doing? I hope he'll be all right… what am I saying? He's a Sannin! Of course he'll be all right, but still" _Naruto had a flashback of last night, very close to the beginning of the whole catastrophe when the assailant used a technique that he didn't think Jiraiya had ever seen before. The attacker didn't move from where he stood and unsheathed his sword only slightly, and then Jiraiya saw his spot to charge… he picked the wrong spot. The two men were roughly four meters away from each other yet the attacker still managed to slash Jiraiya thrice, then the sage fell and the attacker still hadn't moved and his sword was still barely unsheathed, the guy I the blue robes then fully sheathed his blade and then fixed up his hair, but it soon fell flat again thanks to the rain. It was almost impossible to believe, even when the proof was right in front of Naruto, this attacker had just taken out a Sannin and he barely moved and inch.

Naruto snapped back into reality upon the arrival of one of the two hot nurses from the early morning, the brunette. She showed his sensei Kakashi into the room and his teammate. Upon seeing his condition, all three new arrivals gave their own different facial expressions. Kakashi arched his visible eyebrow; Sakura gasped and place a hand over her mouth, and the hot nurse twiddled her fingers at him as she walked to the door, with a face of pure sex. Naruto melted almost instantly and sighed happily as he felt a large amount of his newly transplanted blood flood to his nether regions. Sakura then asked gingerly how he was feeling; he said he was feeling great.

"_How can someone in a full body cast feel great?" _Kakashi became sceptic of Naruto's statement. And Sakura being Sakura managed to produce a huge bouquet of flowers and slam them into a vase to help brighten up Naruto's room.

"And before you ask Naruto, Sai isn't here because he hates you, he is on an ANBU mission. His absence can't be helped, okay?" Kakashi explained to the blonde who was pretty much about to ask why Sai wasn't here. "So Naruto, do you mind telling us what happened exactly?" Kakashi added, taking interest on how Naruto managed to end up like this, Sakura grabbed a chair and sat at his bedside too, equally interested. Naruto looked back at Sakura emerald green orbs and sweated a little.

"_Well, these guys are my team, I supposed they have to know, there like the closest I've got to family. But last night… ARRRG DAMNIT fine I'll tell them about it" _So from this point onward Naruto spent a good fifteen minuets and started from scratch and told Kakashi and Sakura exactly what happened, and not the usual one sided escapades of he and Jiraiya that he churned out frequently, he seriously wasn't in the mood to be making up random missions at the moment, he hurt waaaay too much.

* * *

Meanwhile.

A few kilometres away south from the borders of the ninja village hidden in the leaves, a man with medium length silver moptop hair, a long blood red flack trench coat, leather knuckle gloves, black leather booties, and brown cargo pants tucked into them, armed with a five and a half foot sword fixed to his back, a set of ice blue nunchucks clipped to one of his belt loops near his right pants pocket, twin handguns slung in their holsters on the mans back and a sawn-off shotgun latched to it's holster on the mans left thigh found himself in a clearing of a forest surrounded by trees, trees and oh yeah, more fuckin' trees. Next to him lay a bag crammed with an unsightly amount of other weapons, this man certainly was armed to his teeth for some reason.

The man was currently blinking wildly as if he couldn't believe his eyes; he rubbed them for a moment, and began pacing around the clearing slowly as if he was searching for something. Then he began speaking to himself.

"Well, this aint 33rd street, that's for sure. Damn it, that's the last time I let some random guy on the phone trick me into gettin' abducted by blinding white lights, I mean what the hell did that creepy bastard do to me? WHERE THE HELL AM I?" Bellowed the man, who took out his handguns and aimed them at the forest trees surrounding him. "FUCK YOU, YOUR MILLIONS, AND YOUR FUCKIN' TREES!" The silver haired man began unloading his stress into the surrounding foliage.

* * *

About twelve meters away from the gun-slinging psycho, two guard ninja were patrolling their post for the Konoha border guards, they both heard a strange thundering roar coming from nearby.

"What the hell is that?" One of them asked, drawing a kunai from his pouch

"I don't know but we better check it out, stay on your guard" Replied the second ninja who also took out a kunai knife. Both the men took off drawing ever closer to the origin of the roar.

* * *

Back at the clearing now a whole lot bigger, the angry male finished shooting the living shit out of the foliage surrounding him slung the guns back in their holsters, taking pride in his work of a collective, thirty four or so uprooted and shot to shit oak trees, he put his hands by his sides, and began to slowly pace around turning a full 360 degrees, admiring his 'handiwork', and gave the scene an approving nod. Then suddenly, without warning two small knife like objects soared through the air, aiming themselves at the back of the mans head. The red robed male instinctively back flipped over the metal blades grabbing them in the process, and threw them into the earth, the still standing man smirked. _"At least I can have a little fun in this place then." _Again with his back facing the next onslaught of daggerish like weapons, he rolled out of the way of eight other daggers, drawing his handguns in the middle of the roll and aimed them at the source of incoming objects, the silver haired man took notice of two men who were throwing these knife things, his eyes then adjusted to another barrage of blades, in response the man bent over backwards and laughed cockily. "Ha, Matrix baby" he said then shooting the blade which were just soaring over his body at that present moment in time sending them all skyward. The two men who threw the knives were gob smacked, their mouths were blown open and their eyes were wide.

"This could be a problem" One of them said as the mystery ninja stood up again, looking down at the ground slightly when the daggers implanted themselves into the ground from in the air, creating a small circle around the man. He pointed his guns at the two men, who he had identified as enemies, with a cocky grin plastered onto his face.

"Halt stranger," Shouted the taller of the two

"I see no headband, who are you and where do you come from?" Asked the smaller of the pair, quite demandingly

"Yanno, it's not nice to throw sharp, pointy things at someone and then ask them for personal information. Didn't your mother teach you any manners?" The silver haired man stated cockily

"Don't get smart with me kid, I asked you a question" The second and smaller guard replied angrily. The red robed male cocked an eyebrow and began pacing casually around his duffle bag.

"Kid? Listen pal, I'm 24 years old. If I'm a kid then you're still in diapers" Shot back the stranger cockily, who still had his guns firmly gripped in his hands. The second guard now totally lost his cool and tried to charge the stranger only to be held back by the first guard (the taller one), and obviously the calmest of the pair.

"Ahito, calm down. He's only trying to get you frustrated, everyone knows how easy it is to fight you when you're angry, just chill" Reasoned the first to the second guard who we now know is named Ahito.

"Okay Oni, your right I guess. Fine I'm calm now, let go of me I see your point, but just what are we going to do?" Ahito asked shaking his partner off of him, Oni closed his eyes and began to think things over; a moment later he opened his eyes again and was just about to shrug his shoulder when the third man began shooting his mouth off again.

"Hey, I'd hate to interrupt your little lovers spat but I aint interested in fighting you two. I've had a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really long day. Alls I wanna know is where the hell am I and where I can find a place to crash for the night, that's all" The silver haired man put away his guns and motioned towards his duffle bag.

"Before you do or we tell you anything, tells us what's in there" Oni pointed towards the bag by the mans side, said man smirked.

"My weapons" He deadpanned like weapons were the only thing people keep in duffle bags.

"What kind of weapons?" Oni asked still weary of the stranger.

"Well I've got this sword on my back, my handguns, a shotgun, an electric guitar, a huge fuck off sniper rifle, these nunchucks, a set of gauntlets and greaves, this weird particle gun that was forged in hell, and a pair of elemental serrated swords" Said the stranger counting the items off on his fingers. Then again, without warning.

"Brother, we have been mentioned!" Came a muffled voice

"Yes, I hear that. But what should we do I cannot see" Came another muffled voice, Oni and Ahito jumped back

"We need to introduce ourselves" Replied the first voice, enthusiastically

"But I cannot see, it is too dark" Argued the second voice again, stressing the point that he couldn't see. Oni and Ahito looked up into the sky, it was broad daylight, how could it be too dark?

"Yes, perhaps if we-

"DAMN IT YOU TWO, SHUT IT. NOW!" Bellowed the silver haired traveller at his bag and kicking it, a muffled 'Ow!" could be heard, both Oni and Ahito went Oo

"W-what the hell was that?" Asked Oni, the silver haired man gripped his travel bag and slung it over his shoulder.

"Oh, those elemental swords I mentioned, they talk. Too much" He stated in a annoyed tone while walking over to the guards.

"You-Your swords talk?" Asked Ahito, who was, at this moment, horribly confused,

"It's a looooooooong story. I'll explain later. So, what are we gonna do guys?" He replied stopping next to the guards

"Well, I'm sure the Hokage knows where there's a vacant apartment or house or something you'll be able to stay in Konoha somewhere. Come with us, we'll take you back to the village and to meet the Hokage in the tower, there we can decide what your going to do" Oni explained

"And, as a safety precaution, I'm afraid that we'll have to take these weapons away from you. Temporarily of course, its just policy that outsiders without authorization are forbidden to have any sort of armament on their person." Ahito added sticking his arm towards the stranger gesturing him to relinquish his travel bag. The man obliged and gave Ahito his bag in which he nearly collapsed under the sudden extreme increase in weight.

"Hey if it avoids hassle, then by all means take them, but the sword stays," The traveller said sternly, tossing his handguns, sawn-off, and his nunchucks to Oni and pointing to the long sword latched to his back.

"Ooof, and why should you keep that sword?" Ahito asked casually

"Rebellion is the only thing I have left of my father, there's no way in hell I'm gonna let you just take it from me. And besides it's not the first time today where I've bin led into a false sense of security, and attacked when I didn't expect it. I need some way to defend myself" The traveller replied rather cockily again.

"Listen stranger, we're both loyal village border guards, if attacked people who walked by our posts and 'search and destroy' all people who wander around like you were doing. Konoha would become very unpopular" Ahito shot back huffing away with the heavyweight bag on his shoulders.

"Its also not the first time today where I've bin lied to" Deadpanned the red robed traveller.

"Oh, and what is your name friend?" Asked Oni examining the strange set of nunchucks the stranger possessed, what was strange you say? Well there was a third rod and they were freezing cold.

"My name?" The silver haired man asked back, putting his hands behind his head so he could lean on them. "My name is…

**(A/N: MSN is evil to me these days, I've tried to get this and the prologue typed up and uploaded for a week or so now, and I need msn on to get my e-mails, and I keep getting people wishing me merry christmas, and happy new year, n how did they both go, and when are we going back to school, and the list goes on and on and ON AND ON! But thank whatever the hell you want it's finished. Also the previous chapter was indeed the prologue and it had no A/N's because I wanted to create some kind of suspense. I have no idea if it worked or not, but fuck it, kay cera cera! Reviews please, again with all my fics: suggestions, criticisms, flames, death threats, compliments, anything! Just let me know!!!1 Also even thought someone has already spotted one of the mystery characters but I'm arranging a competition: I will give 20 points to anyone who can guess who the characters whom remained nameless throughout these two chapters. Get going the press that drop down button near the bottom left of your screen that says submit review and please let me know what you think! Thank you!)**

**The Jar Head**


	3. The breasts

**(A/N: Holy hell, look at all these damn hits! 400 exactly, and I've only posted two friggin' chapters. So either there are a lot of people who use the back button, or this in my opinion is really damn popular! Nice! Thanks to you all!)**

**(A/N: I do not own Naruto, Devil May Cry or anything else you read in this fic that is in fact owned by someone else.)**

**---REVIEW REPLY---**

**Cre A. Tor00x: **Ha, nice! Thanks for the review. And sorry in advance if I have stole some odd bits from your fic! Not my fault, it just happens

**HotIceRed:** Whooooa! Can you say: Dante fangirl, boy and girls? Hah, You have soooooo given me a very good idea for this fic! Thankies, and thanks for the review, it made me smile! AND I NEVER SMILE

**Devils and Ninjas**

**Chapter 2: The breasts**

**---RECAP---**

"Its also not the first time today where I've bin lied to" Deadpanned the red robed traveller.

"Oh, and what is your name friend?" Asked Oni examining the strange set of nunchucks the stranger possessed, what was strange you say? Well there was a third rod and they were freezing cold.

"My name?" The silver haired man asked back, putting his hands behind his head so he could lean on them. "My name is…

**---END RECAP---**

"Dante, Dante Spar-errmm... uhg, Willams. Yeah that's it, Dante Williams is my name" Answered the half demon after a quick smirk, "So what's this The Hokage then?" Dante perked grinning at Ahito who was very close to keeling over from under the weight of his duffle bag.

"The Hokage is the leader of our village, when we arrive at the tower the 5th will decide what you should do next" Oni explained while examining the obscure black and white identical metal things this Dante character had handed to him.

"Ha, what's The Hokage? Man, you musta really did your head in before we got to you. The 5th's like one of the most famous kunoichi's of all time, if not THE most famous." Joked Ahito, firmly summoning the strength to walk straight. Dante not feeling like explaining how he arrived in this weird forest to two complete tools thought that since he was going to the top anyway he would explain there. But if those two jokers did ask any questions, he may as well answer them. All three men paced off towards a giant set of gates, in which Dante while walking swung his arms to and fro slightly, listening to the jingle in his boots on his steps.

"Yeah whatever, you guys just better have pizza here" He said warningly to the pair of guards who just gave each other dodgy looks as if to say, what the hell's pizza?

* * *

In the Hokage tower a few minuets later, Tsunade glared at her paperwork, she had been told time and again by her advisers that staring at it would not make it go away, but she would still have a damn good try though. Just once she wished that something happened that could take her away from the drudgery of the working on paper. She betted on immediate surgery, but then again she was useless at gambling. She then began to reminisce back to her teens when she, Jiraiya, and Orochimaru first played strip poker. Within ten minuets she was down to her fishnet vest, bra and panties, while Orochimaru and Jiraiya were still fully clothed.

"_Damn, that smart arsed, snake asshole bastard. I can believe I had to let Jiraiya see me naked. Perverted asshole" _Tsunade huffed just about to give up, and reached out for a pen in annoyance, and grabbed the first file on her in tray when three men walk in through the doors to her office.

"_Company? Excellent, exactly what I needed. Hopefully this'll take until those other three get here," _She thought with a smirk on her face. As the men approached she put own the file and flicked the pen back in its pot.

"Lady Hokage" Ahito began, dumping the heavy bag onto the floor and bowing slightly. "We found this man, 'training' in a forest clearing not too far away from the village borders. He has no idea where he is or how he got here, or indeed why he is here. He also claims to have been attacked in his previous world, in which shortly after he was abducted somehow and brought to this world. He also has with him a large array of weapons, some of which Oni and I have never seen anything like before," Ahito explained.

"_Your forgetting, Ahito Yasaki, that this man, is also really damn cute" _Tsunade thought while propping her head up on her desk using her hands, staring dreamily at Dante, who saw this and smirked to himself.

"Also Tsunade, we suspected at first that this man, Dante. Was from another hidden village, we inquired and asked him a few questions, turns out that Dante has no idea what chakra is nor does he know any jutsu's, a real oddity. He claims to be from the land of America in the Los Angeles village? Is that right Dante?" Oni added asking Dante if he had gotten the place right, in which he nodded slightly looking around at the office for anything remotely interesting that wasn't a woman, but in the end he just though, screw it and became his old self again. Tsunade finished arching her eyebrows and got to thinking.

"_No clue about chakra OR jutsu's? Jiraiya said their attacker was like that, I wonder?" _She then coughed auritativley to clear her throat, when a certain loud mouthed, cocky-assed bastard, just so have happened to intervene.

"Wait, this chick with the breasts is the leader of you village?" He asked laughing cheekily and pointing at Tsunade's rack. "Damn, I'm liking this place already!" Exclaimed Dante winking at Tsunade and undoing the zipper in his pants. As this was happening, Ahito and Oni seemed to vanish from the scene. It was only Dante and Tsunade with her eyes, her big, blood red, evil glowing eyes.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!?!" Screamed the Hokage, clenching her fists and rushing at Dante, who gulped and promptly received, what was meant by Tsunade to be the mother of all punches. Dante was sent a foot or two backwards, the floor beneath his right leg seemed to have turned into a body of lake water, with his head at a parallel junction with his right shoulder, and a fist mark embedded into his left cheek. A comical scene then began of a fully-grown man (not maturely, duh!) struggling to regain his balance like he had drunk waaaaaaaay too much sak'e, eventually Dante gave up and collapsed onto his face not however before voicing his opinion.

"Ow" he deadpanned, before falling onto the hardwood floor beneath him. Tsunade cracked her knuckles and strolled back over to her desk.

"So you two were basically saying that I'll have to allow this joker to sponge in a paid apartment until he can figure out how he gets back home? Ha, not gonna happen besides, if he's not already dead, he'll be in a coma for a few years, take to the hospital for me" She dismissed the thought of ever going out on a date with the new hot guy.

"But, Hokage. This man, he is an or was an incredibly skilled warrior!" Stressed Ahito with his eyes shot wide

"Yeah, he's had no ninja training what so ever and yet he managed to dodge our kunai expertly, completely evade the light speed missile jutsu by rolling out of the way and used these thing to stop more incoming kunai from hitting him, and he barely even saw us!" Oni shouted slamming the handguns onto the desk.

"_So what?"_ Tsunade thought, _"These thing don't look like nothing special, there not even sharp"_

"And before we even got there, Dante was using those things to rip trees out of the ground like the were garden weeds. And this arsenal of weaponry, he could have aided us greatly in Konoha's military strength.

_"Wait, intense speed unseen by the human eye, lethal accuracy, immense power, and no ninja training what so ever? This is really starting to get suspicious now. I wonder if"_

"Are you implying that this man should be trained to become a ninja?" Tsunade cocked, expecting an unusual answer

"Well, there would be a problem there Lady Hokage, this man possesses no chakra within him, at all!" Oni replied

"_And no chakra either?_ _Could this be the man? Well, I have to be certain. I'll need to see if Naruto or Jiraiya recognises him"_

"Well then, I seem to have my hands tied. Fine, I will supply a place for this, Dante to stay for a while. Leave us be, I wish to ask him more questions, and leave his things here as well. I wish to inspect this warrior's weapons. Thank you for bringing him here, now you both still have guard duties, now go" Declared the Hokage, and both guard ninja bowed and exited the office to return to their posts.

"_Well then. Lets see how powerful one of these things is"_ Tsunade took a hold of the white metal thing she had been presented with moments ago and held it up slightly, in turn she accidentally pulled the trigger which sent a small black object soaring through the air, straight through the door in which the two guards previously exited through. Leaving a substantially large whole from all the way at the far end of her office, and the recoil from the moment of the bullet 'shooting' out of the white objects barrel. Tsunade was amazed that her arm was now held directly into the air by the force of the object. With a faint white smoke protruding from the barrel and threw it back down onto the table as quickly as she could, and pushed herself away from the table. On standing up to grab the mans bag she thought.

"_If this is the man who can survive a Rasengan at full whack. Then I'd assume he'd be coming to in a few moments. Then I'll be almost certain" _She schemed while looking down at said imposed man lying on his face at her feet. "Damn" She then said, "I need to top up that polish" Then The Hokage rushed back to her desk, sat in her swivel chair, took off her high heels flinging them onto her desk, and dived into one of her desk drawers which just so happened to be crammed fully of cherry red nail polish bottles.

* * *

In Lady Tsunade's office, the Hokage herself, in the aid of avoiding paperwork, knocked out some random pervert, done up her toenail polish, played a quick game of solitaire, and now nautically drumming her fingers along the edge of her desk, praying for a new 'distraction' to arrive or for her three students. And then looking up at the tower of paperwork she scowled at the doors.

"Come on you three, this is not the time to be late for your training. But then again Sakura should be with Naruto, but that leaves no excuse for the other two, well maybe one of the others but that it's. DAMN IT, HURRY UP!" The last part was yelled at the top of her voice, and just, as you would have it. Take a wild guess who decided to wake up.

"Nnnnhh, arrgg holy hell. Anyone get the number of that train wreck?" Yes, it was in fact everyone favourite cocky bastard, Dante Sparda. The half demon, half human hybrid himself. Wobbling like a freshly made jelly across the floor of the office trying his best to regain his balance. Tsunade smirked again.

"_Okay, so that's only one test to go. Appearance" _She looked up at the analogue clock hung high on the office wall to her right and saw that it was 10:23 am, and then glance back over at Dante who had begun to lean on her desk, and giving of a small cocky laugh.

"Heh, remind me never to piss you off again. I always knew I had rotten luck with women, I only ever managed to get first dates out of chicks in high school." He said jokingly, while re-doing the zipper in his pants. She smiled once more gazing secretly at Dante's 'rock star' good looks.

"_Alright… maybe one date then," _he reasoned with herself. "So, Dante. If you will, please take a seat" She gestured to the chair next to him and he graciously accepted the offer, by shaking of the canaries flying around his head and diving into the seat and lifting his legs up and slamming his boots forcefully into the desk, forming his classic seating pose. Which in turn, made everything that wasn't nailed down to lift slightly into the air. But however, this movement was enough to topple the mountain of paperwork, sending the pile of processed trees crashing down all around them, Tsunade's eyes twitched uncontrollably.

"_One VERY short date"_ She thought, trying her best to calm herself down. "Okay then, Dante." She began

"Please babe, just call me Dante," Voice by non other than Dante, who didn't really care on how stupid he just sounded, waving his hand in the air slightly. And had a huge grin on his face.

"For future reference _Dante,_ do not call me babe. My name is Tsunade. And in the sake of trying to keep you as less confused as possible, I will try to make this conversation as simple as possible." Tsunade tried to make herself sound official in everyway, but Dante just saw an opportunity to make some mischief

"So I'll pick you up at eight then?" Dante shot back, which made the Hokage blush violently, and choke on her own words. And after this Dante could have died of laughter there and then.

"_Damn that prick." _She thought, cursing the hybrid. But she tried to continue as if he said nothing. "Now I can arrange for you, a place where you will be able to stay, but however it will not be free. Konoha has only just recently come out of an economic recession, and is partially low on funds. Now when we can find a way of establish you with a paying job, rent will be expected to be paid. To aid you in getting this job, I will need to know what you did for money" Tsunade grabbed a random piece of paper and a pen, and written something illegible from upside down, and looked up at Dante, who struck a flatulent pose and grinned wildly.

"I'm a demon hunter!" Exclaimed the half-breed swords master, making it seem as if he was inseparably proud of his job description. Tsunade upon hearing this snapped both herself and the pen in two while she was writing the 'd'. She gulped.

"_Well I'll be damned. This is really starting to get highly suspicious now." _She thought carefully, hastily grabbing another pen. "I see, what does that entail?"

" Well, when I was back in my dimension or whatever. When a demon had been spotted, I'd find it and kill it. Usually I get myself mixed up in some seriously crazy parties and end up blowing the city half to shit, but it's a living. I'm highly efficient of course, in the field and in the bedroom babe," Her pen snapped again, and began cursing.

"_Damn this man, and his sexual innuendos" _She put one arm behind her head, and laughed awkwardly, grabbing yet another pen. "Ahem, I may be able to work with that, now can you describe, exactly how you got here? She urged him on as he folded his arms and closed his eyes, thinking about it.

"Well you see…

**---FLASHBACK---**

_It was a scorching summers day in the back streets of L.A. A few local 'hoodlums' (and I use that term very loosely) were spraying up a totally wreaked car that was flipped upside down and laid across a road stopping all traffic from lowing until a tow got here. Good thing no one was insane enough to be in a car with this heat. The teens, snickering at their 'masterpiece' (and again, very loosely) for a moment before dropping their spray paint cans in disbelief at what they saw next._

_A young man in a long, blood red, leather coat was walking heavily down their street with several katanas shish kebabing him, there was a long trail of fresh blood that seemed to go on for miles behind the man. He was breathing heavily and had a quiet angry expression on his face. Like he had just seen his own brother getting off with his girlfriend._

"_Whoa…" Exclaimed the teens watching the man busting open the doors to the 'Devil May Cry' agency._

"_That is… Arrgh, the last t-TIME, I do any, ahh damn it, any work, for that damn, J-JAPANESE war, arrggh, museum." Declared and enraged Dante, pulling out the five katanas out of his own body and jamming them into the floor beneath him. After wiping the blood off his body and onto his jacket, he took it off, exposing his muscled physique and idly throwing the jacket onto a coat rack._

"_Damn it, I need some pizza" He lunged for his phone and hit speed dial 1 for 'Uncle Pepe's Pizza Parlour'. "Uncle Pepe? Yeh it's Dante, the usual. 10 minuets? Nice! Okay thanks!" He put the receiver down and mock shook the dust off of his hands and walked off to take a shower when._

"_Brother, I did say that we should have been taken along" Came a demonic, morphed voice_

"_Yes, he would not be hungry if he had took us to that museum" Replied another_

"_You two, I've had a really, really, really long day. Just shut up, please?" Asked Dante not wanting the same argument that he always got from Agni and Rudra right now._

"_I was only saying that-" Agni did not get to finish his sentence, as the loose cannon known as Dante had heard enough and charged at the pair of sword, screaming a in-humane battle cry and drop-kicking the sword through the wall._

"_Thanks dude, here keep the change" Dante handed the delivery boy the required cash and then some, and jammed Agni and Rudra into the desk where the seven newly acquired pizzas lay. The delivery boy wondered why those two awesome looking swords were encased in duck tape. But then shook of the thought, this after all was Dante, he once came into this place a week or two ago to find Dante's arm caught in a blender, while the damn thing was on. Weird stuff it seemed to happen all the time in this place, so he took his money bid the demon hunter goodbye and took off on his moped._

"_PIZZA TIME" Yelled an excited Dante who dived onto his pizza's like they were live pray, and when he was about to take his first bite, he was interrupted by the phone. "AAARRGGH, THAT'S IT PHONE! EAT SHIT AND DIE MOTHER FUCKER!" Bellowed the half demon which made the building shake, he then went for he handguns out of instinct and soon realised that they were still in his trench coat. The silver haired man had a mini tantrum and gave up as the phone kept ringing. He slumped down into his chair, and slammed his feet into the desk, which sent the receiver flying into the air and into his outstretched hand._

"_Devil May Cry" The hybrid said unenthusiastically_

"_Am I speaking to the son of the legendary dark night Sparda? Replied a distorted angry voice, Dante's eyes widened and he arched and eyebrow._

"_And am I speaking to the son of an overweight crackwhore from Portland, Oregon" He shot back, cocky as usual._

_There was a pause, followed by some weird screaming down at the other end of the line._

"_Excuse me sir, but where did you get that information from?" Asked a totally different voice which seemed to sound normal enough, Dante arched his eyebrow more and thought,_

"_What the hell is going on?" "I could ask you the same thing you creepy bastard, so listen. I've had a really, really, really, really, really, really, long day! But, you said the password, so you've got five minuets, what do you want?" Some more of the weird screaming was the next to be heard from the pair followed by_

"_I have an invitation for you" Dante laughed at this and received a few memories from the not to far away past._

"_Listen pal, the last time I accepted an invitation, I ended up like killing my own brother-_

"_Whom was called Vergil, you defeated him in a waterway leading to hell, in a battle exactly three months and two days ago, a Sunday" Interrupted the distorted voice_

_There was another pause_

"_You've got ten minuets. What. Do. You. Want?" Dante asked sternly_

"_I would like you to come meet me, I have something of extraordinary value, seemingly priceless that someone of your extraordinary talent would be able to obtain for me. You, in exchange for this item, will be rewarded handsomely. Unfortunately, due to the chance of this line being tampered with. I cannot discuss what the item is until we meet in person. I will be waiting on 33rd street by the" There was a suspicious pause "Baked Electronics' store. Get here A.S.A.P!" The voice explained_

"_Wait! How handsomely?" Dante asked. A briefcase could be heard opening followed by another momentary pause._

"_Twelve million, five hundred thousand orbs" The caller deadpanned_

"_Holy shit! Dude, I am so there. You got a deal. I'll be there in ten" Dante flipped around the room holding the receiver in his right hand and the dial in his left._

"_I have something else to tell you. Bring all the equipment you could possibly carry. This is going to be a long job Dante" The caller then hung up, leaving Dante to rip the phone out from the socket in the wall._

"_Right no more distractions, I have a job that won't suck some serious ass. And I'll be a millionaire when I'm done! AWWW YEAH BABY!" Dante celebrating his apparent 'wealth' by wolfing down all seven pizzas at light speed. Then the hybrid Launched himself at a travel bag, and raced around the room grabbing, seemingly random items._

_There was: A purple electric guitar, and a set of blue nunchucku. "Right I'll need you Nevan baby, for this, and you too Cerberus". He said while ramming the guitar into his bag and clipping the nunchucks onto his front belt loop. "And you Beowulf. And try not to kill anyone this time, eh? I still can't believe they let me go to Mrs. Ellison's funeral after what you did." Date warned while ripping of a set of gauntlets and greaves off of a suit of armour and throwing them into the bag, one by one. "And of course, you two" Complained the half human while removing the twin swords out of his desk. "Looks like you'll have to tag along then. BUT. NO. TALKING!" He said while ripping off the duck tape from Agni and Rudra, and carelessly tossing them into the duffle bag._

"_Right that just leaves: Rebellion, the Force Edge, and my firearms" Dante took a large sniper rifle off a wall and threw it into the same bag as his devilarms, then he lunged at the head off a dragon statue which happened to be Artemis. That too, was thrown into the bag. Next on the list was Dante's coat, he hastily rushed over to the coat rack, pulled of some random stylish menuver, and put it on. With Rebellion, Ebony and Ivory now on his person he licked off the grease from the last pizza box and headed for the door, stopping by a fancy looking cabinet, examining it's contents. A sword roughly four ft long, with a brilliantly finished handle and a polished blade. Dante smashed the glass with his free fist and took the Force Edge from its position._

"_Millionaire-ness, here I come!" Shouted the over excited half-breed, who beat in the doors to his office and was met by a blinding white light. "What the hell?" Dante roared while shielding his eyes using the hand that held the Force Edge. Dante felt himself moving towards the light, he then proceeded to resist his own movement but found it was useless. He then sighed and accepted that he fucked up big time. He sighed, "So long millionaire-ness" Dante cursed himself for his greed for. But then his ever-confident smirk re-appeared. "Oh well, kay cera cera" But with a sudden jolt, which made Dante temporarily loose his balance, the hybrid dropped the force edge._

"_Shit! Father's sword!" Dante bellowed, trying his damned hardest to reach out to the weapon, but all his efforts were in vain. The blinding white light enveloped around Dante, as soon the son of Sparda vanished into the light._

**---END FLASHBACK---**

"And there you have it babe, er… Tsunade. Is that how you pronounce it? Anyway, about five seconds later I ended up in a forest, then I shot at some trees, those two dudes attacked me, and brought me here. So here I am" Explained Dante waving his arms through the air. Tsunade, who written Dante's entire escapade down on paper, took a brief moment to asses the situation.

"Orbs?" She quirked

Hn, L.A's got a really fucked up government, orbs is money. And twelve million, five hundred thousand is a LOT of money" Dante stressed

"I can imagine" Tsunade replied notichily, arranging the three pieces of paper she just wrote on and stapled them together. "I am expecting a few students of mine to arrive any minuet now. So I will give a brief explanation of where you re and what this place is all about". And then Tsunade began her long rant bout the Land of Fire, and the kage's, and the fact that these lands mainly consisted of shinobi and kunoichi. In the middle of all this, three females of their middle teens entered the office and began wondering who the tall sexy guy was with the white hair.

"Ninjas huh? You mean all that running along the walls, and little pointy stars shit?" Dante asked as Tsunade nodded while arching an eyebrow at Dante's crude description. "Cool!" He said enthusiastically. "So you guys know how to fight then? Well I'm so gonna fit in here then" Dante asked cockily

"How so?" Tsunade quirked

"Well most people from my dimension or whatever, tend to shy away from super powerful demon hunters" He deadpanned, making one of the three teens interrupt Dante's and Tsunade's conversation.

"Demon hunter? Tsunade hang on a second, Naruto said that the man who attacked him was after the Kyuubi inside of him. Do you think this is the same guy?" Sakura Haruno shouted at her leader.

"What the fuck!? I've been here for like twenty minuets and someone's already accusing me of murder! What the hell's going on?" Bellowed Dante, ignighting his demonic anger, he slammed his fists into the desk causing it to blow into splinters across the room, launching all of Tsunade's paperwork all over the place. The impact of Dante's fists into the desk caused Tsunade, Sakura, and the other two girls, named: Ino Yamanaka, and Hinata Hyuga to shoot into the air for a small moment, another thing that was sent flying was Dante's back of weapons of which Ino took an interest to.

"Huh? Twenty minuets? But Naruto said the attack was last night… ooops" Sakura felt herself talk quieter and quieter throughout this sentence and then she looked down at her feet out of embarrassment.

"DANTE, no-one is accusing you of anything. A boy this girl knew was visiting him in the hospital and he was attacked _last night!_" Tsunade stressed last night and aimed it towards Sakura. So Dante cooled it at was about to sit back don when.

"Cool, what kind of armour is this? It's floating!" Ino asked in amazement, but Dante's eyes just shot wide. And he mouthed 'Oh shit!'

"KID DON'T TOUCH THEM, DAMN IT BEOWULF STOP IT!" He roared, running towards a girl with long blonde hair, who was about to slide on Beowulf. Dante tackled the levitating gauntlets nd used them to bat away the greaves speeding towards Ino. After a very strange game of rounders, Dante managed to collect all four pieces of the armour. And while struggling against the force of Beowulf's power, rammed the pieces into his bag, zip it up, and kick it into the wall. He then wiped the sweat of his brow and went all crazy eyed.

"Do NOT touch, you WILL DIE if you touch! Do NOT even go NEAR, aww forget it, just don't move" The hybrid began to collect all his other devil and firearms and ram them into the same bag. He was heavily surprised that Agni and Rudra had stayed quiet in the midst of all this; maybe they learned their lesson.

"Umm… Tsunade. O-our medical lesson?" Hinata asked with her eyes shot wide from all of this strange behaviour.

"Yes in a minuet Hinata, but first-

"ALRIGHT! I've had a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, long, long, LONG DAY! Can someone please tell me where the hell my apartment is so I can get out of your way and chill the fuck out. You obviously have something planed here" Complained Dante

"Dante, this lesson can't wait any longer, and besides" Tsunade waved her arms around as if to say, have a look at what you've done to my desk you flirting prick. Dante did look down to find eighteen thousand sheets of paper piled on the floor in a total mess. "The vacant lot requresision forms are in this pile somewhere, so I'm afraid you'll just have to wait a little while longer".

* * *

Since Tsunade couldn't let Dante dare leave her site, he was dragged along for the lesson. In which he leaned against some random bamboo shoot, idly twirling Cerberus around his body for half an hour straight. After supreme boredom set in, Dante decided to glance over at the females.

"_Looks like this place has some really hot babes, and from what I can hear their training to become nurses, heh heh, nice!" _Shortly after, Dante clipped his nunchucku back onto his belt strap and looked on again at the four kunoichi. _"Damn, I'm getting some mad flashbacks of my own high school. Hn, Vergil and me, side by side, going after the same girls, bored shitless in every damn lesson, 'cept gym. And even then we tried to out-do each other, always eating all the pizza in the lunchroom, sticking up for each other. And those damn purple uniforms, ugh they were horrible. Hn, since the day of our graduation Vergil and me never wore a shred of purple ever again." _Dante received the memories of the time when he and Vergil had to take down a gang of twenty or so seniors because they both had white hair, those poor jocks never knew what was coming.

"So what the hell happened?" Dante asked himself quietly while looking at the glove that bore a slash mark across the palm. He had liked his new outfit but there was just too many damn layers for the summer months, so he rammed this old get-up on just at the beginning of May, plus the Jacket reminded him of his rock star days, when he was nineteen, trying to get a gig. Some said he was just too damn flamboyant to be a rock star, other thought he was a musical no account. And the many cuts, slashes and bullet holes reminded him of the awesome time he had inside the Temen-Ni-Gru. The slash mark and the missing forearm piece kept the memory of his brother alive, even is he wasn't.

* * *

It was a half hour later until; Dante was finally given the location to his new 'pad'. And even then he had to stop and ask for directions seven times, of course he didn't count all the times where the villagers looked at him like he had three heads or ran away screaming 'HE'S A MENTAL, HE'S A MENTAL" Eventually, Dante did find his apartment, and kicked himself for it.

"So it's called Market Street for a reason, huh?" He asked himself, before him was a huge sprawling market place, rammed with 5 o'clock shoppers, collecting their food items for tonight's meals. He cursed himself for not seeing it in the first place, then hastily turned around and kicked in the door to his new home. "Not too shabby. A bit plain but I'll have that fixed in no time" Dante reviewed his apartment. It was a decent size: a living room/bedroom combo, and entranceway to the kitchen and a separate room for the toilet/bath/shower. "ALRIGHT" He shouted rubbing his hands together. "It's makeover time".

So within the space of five minuets, Dante had managed to trash his entire apartment, leaving only the bathroom in one solid piece. What remained of the living/bedroom were the TV, a coffee table, and the couch. And he saw no reason for a kitchen because he'd been having take-outs ever since his mother died, so he planned on turning that into a game room when he collected enough cash. Dante had also painted the entire apartment the wonderful combo of: black, black, black, a little blood red, black, and more fucking black. Where he got the paint from was anybodies guess, but to hell with it. Rebellion, Agni, and Rudra where nailed up onto the wall beside the TV, Nevan was propped up against a makeshift guitar stand (formerly known as a ceiling fan), his sawn-off and Beowulf were on his, now broken, mattress bed, Beowulf was duck taped to the mattress, and had coils rammed into the sleeves making escape for the formidable set of devilarms (cough, and legs, cough) virtually impossible. Spiral was fixed so that Dante could do pull-ups on it every time he went to the kitchen, soon to be game room. His jacket lay across the couch headrest and he dropped Ebony, Ivory, and Cerberus onto the coffee table. "At least I can count on you not to try and kill people every five minuets, eh Cerbs? Damn, Beowulf". And now with only Artemis to deal with, Dante began wondering what to do with the sketchy looking gun. So he scratched his ass with it and let it fall onto the floor.

The half human hybrid, whom had now finished decorating, decided it was now the time to 'chill the fuck out' so in due course, Dante collapsed into the couch slammed his feet into the coffee table in which sent the remote flying into the demons out stretched hand, Dante smirked and mouthed 'Devil May Cry' before using the remote to switch on the TV and see if this crazy assed world had any decent television. Sure Dante was still as confused as fuck, all's he knew is that some freaky white light brought him here. But that wasn't something to get himself worked up over surely! There's no point in worrying over things that are out of your control, Dante was here and there seems to be no way of getting back to L.A, so he would have to learn to live with it.

A few short moments later, Dante fell asleep in the same position he seemed to always be sat in, blissfully unaware of the sheer pandemonium that in the upcoming months, from: demented fangirls bent on molesting the demon, to stark raving closet perverts who are jelous of him. From: Confrontations by misusing, his unbridled gifted youth, to a screaming nutcase whom we all know to be Anko Midarashi and from the utter incineration of countless trees, to the discovery of new untapped abilities. However through all of this, only one thing seemed certain.

His being here, was most certainly no accident.

**(A/N: Let me clear something up, if you get confused. In DMC1, both Alastor and Ifrit try to kill Dante when he gets near them. Alastor and Ifrit are the devilarms in DMC1; so just imagine that the devilarms try to kill all humans who go near them, except of course Cerberus who Ahito in the last chapter was given to hold on to. Cerberus is a 3-headed dog, so I just imagined that the dog could be tame and trained not to kill anyone who goes near it. That is why Cerberus is the only devilarm that Dante will gladly keep in the open. And that's that done, RnR pleases, suggestions for pairing are welcome. I was thinking of either DanteTsunade, or DanteAnko. Which one do you like best? And until next time!)**

**The Jar Head**


End file.
